Relief flooded through Logan as she came out, relief in the form of being a smart ass.
“Wouldn't be nice to walk away from you that far.” Usagi’s blush sent a spike of shame through his body. He knew that didn’t need to be like this with her.
"No... no it wouldn't..." Usagi said, apparently chastened, but her reddened cheeks, and downcast gaze twisted the shame in Logan’s heart, cutting him as deeply as if he had hit her. His compliment wasn’t expected.
“You are still too attractive by half than you should be when you blush. Puts dirty thoughts in my mind.” He smiled at her, pushing away from the wall and moving down the passage, still nearly empty despite the time. Logan managed not to look back and see if she followed, he could hear her moving after him.
They walked in silence for a few minutes, Logan’s head starting to spin from the alcohol and thoughts of Usagi as his friend, then lover, then friend. Just as he was about to stop and face her, her hand wrapped around his bicep pulling him aside in the corridor, stopping them both. “Tired of looking at my ass?” He quipped, her direct gaze, though distracted, answered honestly, sending a thrill through his body.
“No.” She said, her eyes alight with something else. She looked down and then reached up with her hands, her soft fingers brushing against his cheeks, holding his face. Her touch alone sent every nerve in his body on edge, his head instantly getting light as he looked down at her, rising on her toes. Her words a small buzz in his ears.
As Logan regained focus Usagi pressed closer to him. “Do you think I'm worth this?” She said, Logan replied by instinct, the insect like humming closing in on his ears.
“Worth what?” Logan answered as Usagi slid up further on her feet, pressing into his body. Everywhere she touched his body buzzed, her lips on the side of his mouth made his eyes flutter and close, his body reacting instinctively. He would remind her how much trouble kissing him was. His hands slid around her small waist, reversing their positions in an instant, pinning her against the wall with a soft, muffled, thud; his long body supporting and pushing at hers as they kissed.
Logan, his mind near lost in the contact, followed through by pressing her small form hard against the wall, her soft lips parting for him, before he snapped back to a brutal cold reality. She had left him like nothing, nothing. Repelled, he pushed back, slipping away from her in an instant.
“What the fuck Usagi.”
His mind echoed, indeed, what the fuck. Deep down he still felt like nothing, alone, but her body pressed against his, her kiss, it rekindled something just as deep he had assumed dead. Tears formed at the corners of his eyes, dripping down his face unabashedly.
Confused and lost, Logan gave in - “Of course you are worth it.” ‘Was she?’
Her hands slid down his body, first down his chest and then to his waist. His stomach lurched as if he was jumping into a star ringed with hostiles.
The cynical part of his mind warned, ‘You’re on your own now buddy.” The chance lit deep in his heart wouldn’t yield. ‘Stupid...’
“You’re more important to me than anything,” Usagi admitted as she looked over at him. Logan thoughts twisted, unwilling to be abandoned again. Treated like so much trash.
"You've got a hell of a way of showing it." It all came back with the way she had left him, without thought, without saying anything. That’s not how it was supposed to be, not how it could ever be again. Could he trust her again not to leave? His mind answered simply:
‘No.’
“I just -- like I said, I was… am… scared,” Usagi interrupted Logan’s thpoughts as she rested her head on Logan’s chest; her hair tickling the underside of his nose. “Scared you’ll lose… your…....soul. And become a shell.”
“Like him.” Usagi said those last two words with such careless grace that it broke over Logan like a crushing wave. All emotion drained out of him, not even anger would hold.
“Like who?” Logan reached out to her, but she turned away ready to head down the passageway.
“It doesn’t matter. Lead on.” No other words could have cemented Logan in his spot so thoroughly.
Logan’s words were heavy, tired, and hung in the air, anchored, like him, to the spot. “It does matter to me.” Usagi slipped away with a sigh, looking guiltily around the station, her eyes passing over billboards and storefronts.
“Vendrin.” She paused for a second. “I guess you never get over having your first love walk away from you, claiming he's lost the ability to feel... to be human.”
Logan, having feared a far worse name, or a more recent name, laughed with relief. Vendrin was a pilot and director for Rote and Stimulus as well, but Logan and him had never gotten along fantastically. Vendrin was rather a shell of a man. “Never did like that guy. Guess it is a good thing I am not just a better fuck, but also still capable of emotion.”
“Perhaps it wasn't love. I did bail on APEX when they needed me." Usagi turns back to Logan, chuckling. "Perhaps the love I felt was just guilt?" She turned away again, laughing, louder, “Guilt. Me. Hilarious.”
“Why a problem with guilt?” Logan, still relieved from her earlier admission, was admittedly lost in her sudden guilt.
“When I was first having problems with the State. When I cared about such things... His acceptance of me into APEX. He took me in knowing I was a criminal - an outcast… He allowed me a chance for redemption.”
She giggled again, turning to lean, face forward, into the wall, her giggle becoming a laugh. “Because back then, well, I guess I needed such things.” She pushed back from the wall, turning to look at Logan. “He protected me from myself…” Her smile dropped suddenly “And I repaid him by walking away… What goes around, comes around, huh?”
Logan could just nod, she wasn’t really talking to him anymore, just talking to say it. Logan just mumbled what her thought made sense. “Sometimes in the worst ways possible.”
Usagi turned seemingly at the sound of his voice and started closing the distance, still talking. “Yup. You know I'm broken. You know I'm barely worth the biomatter it takes to clone me. Do you really want…” She points to herself "...this?" and then between them, clearly pointing out the relationship. "This?"
Momentarily Logan wondered how he had been so wrong about her not being interested and about them being nothing. He reconsidered, wondering if this was just her way of trying her best. He could only answer honestly. “I don't think it's quite as simple as a yes or no question like that Usagi, but I'm willing to give it a try again. Up until you run away again.”
“I can’t promise that I won’t.. but…” Usagi takes Logan’s hand and places it on her cheek. “I can promise that I … will… try..,” Usagi slipped up as if getting ready to kiss Logan. Rather, she ends up running her tongue up his cheek.
The wet contact of her tongue pushed all the negative thoughts of the day from Logan, some of his former joviality coming into the mix. “Now I know it's been a while but you should remember my cheek isn't what you usually lick.” He smiled down at her, wiping the trail of her tongue off his cheek. Hoping his rough stubble had at least tickled her tongue.
Usagi’s shock was as funny as it was fake. “Sir, we're in a public corridor!”
“Never stopped you before, last time I checked you liked all the extra attention you got while getting fucked or on your knees in a public place. Such an attention whore." He smirks at her and starts walking down the corridor. Logan turned his head, speaking over his shoulder - “Besides, we never said we would hop back into each others pants so quickly.” He could hear a muted disagreement from his body, still buzzing from her touch. His mind stood firm though.
“Fair enough,” she seemingly surrendered. Logan turned back around, still walking. Something warm wrapped itself around the back of his head, straps dancing over the edge of his vision. He deftly caught her shirt while turning, his eyes dancing over her now exposed chest.
Usagi must have thought she was far enough from him to escape his grasp as she said - “I guess I’ll head home. For now.” She wasn’t expecting his quick movements; three strides bringing him back in arm's reach of her half naked body. His arm slid around her back, keeping her in place.
Logan couldn’t help but smile as he looked down at her. “Oh no, I think now’s a perfect time for a nice, long walk.”
Her smirk was torture as she looked down his body. “You've got the walking stick. Lead the way.” He could feel tension he didn’t know he had been holding drift out of his body, or rather to a more specific point on his body, but he felt better than he had in days.
“Judging by the way you are practically drooling, you think it's more of a lollipop. So why the rush to get back to your quarters?” Logan looked at her and then started near dragging her into a walk next to him.
“That may have been your breakfast, but I've been drinking for hours.” She smiled over to him, practically shoving her enhanced chest into his side, causing more than a little distraction.
“Poor thing, You can leave if you want to, this shirt is my property until I see you next.” He punctuated his comment by sliding his hand down her body and grabbing her still perfect ass, smacking it sharply. He could hear the gasp down the hallway as a man, his wife and daughter came around the corner. The mother was busy trying to cover the obviously interested late years teenaged daughters eyes, while the husband was busy near tripping over himself and a nearby bench.
Usagi slid herself around Logan, her hand sliding over the front of his pants, tugging. “All yours. I've got plenty.” She pushed up again, kissing Logan and biting his lip, before pulling away. “I'll see you soon.”
Logan could just nod, his feelings suddenly back to warring inside his chest. Usagi taking his free hand and adding “I promise.” before drifting away.
Almost to himself Logan murmurs “Hope so.” His mind taking a mental picture as Usagi began to bound away. Or maybe skip was the right word. Either way she moved quickly.
Logan’s hangar was not far away, it was time to do the other thing he was good at.
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